one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
