Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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