Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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