Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
