These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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