Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
