He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
