Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
