Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I need a burrito and a hug.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
