six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize