WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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