Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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