He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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