Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
