bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
