Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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