You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
