Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
