you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
