I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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