my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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