Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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