I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
