I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
