That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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