I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
