i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
