I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
