Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
