areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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