Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
