I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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