and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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