Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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