By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
