his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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