Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
