I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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