I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
