i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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