Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
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