**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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