Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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