if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
