is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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