She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
