Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Randomize
