All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
