dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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