I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
