We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
