stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
