Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
