If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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