yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
