Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I fill condoms, not promises.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
