Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
